When Leif was a baby, my cousin made mention how she didn’t need to read on Facebook about her friends’ babies’ poops. It was then that I realized how very important poop is to parents. Parents to new humans become obsessed with their baby’s poop. Is it the right color? Is he pooping enough? Is he pooping too much? Is the consistency right? When will this kid potty-train? Are these wipes causing this diaper rash or is it the poop? How long has this poop been sitting on his bum and I didn’t notice? How do I get poop stains off his clothes? What the hell is going on here?
We are obsessive about poop and because social media encourages us to share the important things in our lives, we share about our babies’ poop. If you aren’t or haven’t ever been a parent to a newborn, this won’t be as important to you as it is to me: Baer pooped yesterday. It’d been a few days. In fact, in the last month, I think hes had about 5 bowel movements. So I was excited when I checked his diaper and got yellow mustard shit on my fingers. That’s right. I was excited about poop on my fingers because it meant that my son had finally let it out after a week of no poopies. Exciting shit that.
My life is all about poop, especially when it isn’t happening. So if I or another of my kind posts to social media “THE BABY POOPED!” be excited for us. It’s important to us. Seriously.