Guest Bloggers · Monday Personal Log

MPL: A Poem

One of my dearest friends on the internet is an author and has been having trouble recently. Being an author, especially an indie author, can be a hair-raising experience of self-doubt, pessimism, and despair. Marketing is a huge struggle for indies, but more than that, finding the right niche of readers to get you book read is difficult. I have host Ani Manjikian on my blog before, several time and I encouraged her to express herself and her frustrations and the poetry she wrote speaks to me and I suspect to many, many of my readers.

The Fake Smile

By Ani Manjikian

I am writer

Creator of worlds and characters

Lover of my craft

Hater of the BS that goes with it

Whine, bitch, complain

No! No! No!

That’ll send the wrong message

You must be in control

Show your strength and pride

Even as you wither and die inside

Able to handle anything.

Not a worry or care must crack the façade

Others have more of everything

Money, Looks, Voice

They are all over the place

Doing things better

Getting the recognition

And the means to live

Becoming somebodies

Even as the rest

Who do their best with what they got

End up with naught

Doesn’t matter that you don’t have much

You can’t let that be your crutch

You must go, go, go

Flash that fake smile.

Give until you have nothing left

Then give some more

Wow them with swag, trinkets, and the like

Push through the chaos and the noise

Hoping for one moment ahead of the pack

Or maybe, even a small pat on the back

Ads, interviews, blogs, and posts

Constant presence

You must be there

Participate

Show yourself

Build community

Be yourself too

But only if it’s bright, not blue

Make time for this and that

Write every day

Create as much as you can

For that’s the only way you’ll make a dent

In the large pile of reading

That not everyone will be able to get to

Hours equal money

Job important too

Sleep and other things

Waste of resources

Prioritize writing

Nothing else

Break your heart if you have to

We don’t care

You are here to serve

Even as life throws you a curve

Reviews are scarce treasures

You need a certain number

Before you are even considered a success

Crappy ones make it through the machine

Good and helpful

That’s a different story

A big company determines which are worthy

You know this person, they claim

Yeah, you reply, only as someone in a non-existence world

Doesn’t matter, you were there

They connected with you

That’s enough

Sexy bodies, bloody teeth

Suggests action and drama

A horse on a starfield

Sure looks cool

It also means we already know the story

Probably has shallow characters, too

Oh, and please don’t bore us with the details

They are nice and all

But our brains can’t handle them

Leave them for the architects

Who create walls

Pain is fine, so is sorrow

Not to show, only to create

More real for the reader

But scary, if they knew the truth

Struggle in silence

Hide the misfortune

Perfection is the name of the game

I don’t want to smile anymore

Just cry

Happy, sometimes

Sad, others

Shouldn’t matter

For what I share is who I am.

Even without all the glam

I am a writer.

My words are me

My heart , soul, and life  are intertwined

In the stories that unwind.

Let me come into your world

Even with my strife

Who knows?

It might change your life

It’ll be much easier for me

To drop this mask

And show you who I truly be.

 

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7 thoughts on “MPL: A Poem

  1. Reblogged o Readers’ Junction. Her words are so true. We’re always comparing ourselves to each other, wondering why some authors make it while the rest linger in obscurity. Even with all the hoops we’re constantly jumping through to get our books noticed. It becomes so frustrating at times. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

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