Monday Personal Log · Thoughts and Musings

MPL: Romancing a Romance Writer

10923841_961623783851949_4350136433785653453_nI love my husband. I know most of my followers know that I am in love with my hubby. He works so I can stay home, he lives and breathes love for me. He lets me relax after a hard day without question. He sends me mushy text messages that make me feel so very loved. He tells me I am beautiful every day and he never forgets to kiss me goodbye or goodnight. I am grateful for him because I honestly thought I would never find the right fit for me, but there he was, in the friend zone for so long. His love and his patience wooed me, and I can sit here today and tell you that I love this man and I have no doubt anywhere in the back of my mind that I didn’t make the right choice with him.

I see and talk to people on social media sites all the time, but what I have noticed is that for the most part, when it comes to indies (because that is who I interact with the most), romance writers are happily married. We have our book boyfriends and I would say that 95% of the female romance writers you might meet base at least some of their male protagonists on their husbands. I am not saying this is true for every romance writer. I know some who are not happily married, but those are few and far between. I know some who are single, and again, those are few and far between; and I know some that are male, but you know what? They are happily married too!

That being for the most part true. Here is my experience with fans:

My fans fall into three categories (I’m talking about fans, people who will buy every book I write because they love my books): women who love PNR and are happily in a relationship, women who love PNR and are either unhappy or single, and men who a. love my work, and b. are horny and want to know if I will play. Ok there is another category, and that is that one guy who loves my PNR and is also happily married (I talk to him a lot).

I find the most uplifting of my fan/friends are the ones who are happy–of course I would! They spread their happiness around like a bee pollinating this earth! I love hearing from them! Sure our friendship might have started with them fangirling over Kissing Demons or Falling Angels, but it has grown. I have fans that I talk to everyday because I can’t go a day without talking to them. They are awesome people and they have wooed me into their hearts with the love they share with everyone.

I also love hearing from my unhappy fans because they tell me how my books have made a difference to them and we get to chat, and hopefully, by the end of our chat, I have given them more than just an escape into my world, but a friend who can empathize (been there, done that) and who can spread her happiness around like a bee!

The most awkward conversations I have are with men in general. Certainly there are a few that can chat without getting weird on me, but mostly men tend toward trying to romance this romance writer. And here I sit able to be shame-faced because a lot of times, I am totally unaware of the flirting until it becomes really overt. I have had my husband tell me “That guy just wants in your pants.” I denied it! And he was right. I am totally oblivious to other men besides my husband to the point that I don’t get it until it’s waaaaay late! At that point I just have to say, sorry, I’m married and happy. And I HATE doing that because I don’t want to alienate a fan! Seriously! Men who read my books are a prize and I would love to say that I can chat with them like I can the ladies, but I can’t and it’s disheartening.

So, if you are a FanMan and I have had that awkward conversation with you, I’m sorry. Please still read my books 🙂

If you are unhappy and I haven’t had the privilege of talking to you, send me a message. You can PM me on Facebook or even email me at

If you are happy, thank you for spreading your light. Keep it up because I love it.

And if you are my husband. I love you more: more today than yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow.

Jen Winters

6 thoughts on “MPL: Romancing a Romance Writer

  1. Great post Jen. I can’t believe the nerve of some men, sigh. I know a lot of my female friends deal with absolute insanity from men on facebook, mostly just because they are naturally friendly and outgoing. I keep my profile pretty locked down and am very choosy about accepting friend requests. As I am not an author, I can get away with that 🙂 But you know that I certainly understand about indie marketing – I know it is an absolute necessity for y’all. I’m glad you are able to keep a good attitude about it all – another absolute necessity. Keep smiling!


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